Here’s a theory that I am considering putting in my book…however it hadn’t yet been written out-just discussed…this is just a taste lol-informally so.
So you’re out shopping for a toaster. There are simple toasters, fancy toasters, toasters that give a little-2 slices, and toasters that give a lot-4 slices. You take your time mustering over exactly which toaster will fit with everything else in your kitchen, you know, which will reflect your taste and fit your style best. While looking through the toasters you see one with a tag marked “Damaged” you ask the store worker what exactly is wrong with it, and they tell you, “Well that toaster won’t warm bread, broken coils.” You reply, “great! I’ll take it!”
Now how likely is this to happen? Why would you buy a toaster that is broken…did you think you could fix it? Sadly, women are doing this every single day. We claim that we are looking for a ‘good man’ and we sift through the men maneuvering through dating options with stealth and agality of an X-man, and then we go and settle for the broken toaster! Thinking we can change him! Or, my favorite, thinking that WE will be worth changing FOR. *uproarous laughter*
You wouldn’t take home a broken toaster, don’t take home a broken man, and some of them are CLEARLY labeled Damaged, we just ignore that sign al together. He has no job, and isn’t actively trying to change that=DAMAGED…He has children that he is not providing for=DAMAGED…He is perfectly fine with living at home with mom at 35=DAMAGED. What, pray tell, about you is life changing? Lets be honest. Why is your love so powerful that he would change his ways, the ways he has justified and grown accustomed to, for you? Who are YOU to illicit such a change? Its laughable, yet women do it everyday.
Why? Why do we think that changing somebody is a task that we can handle? Or better yet, why are we taking that challenge? Are you, seriously, that bored that you just need a DIY project? If you are then here’s a news flash, something is wrong with YOU and thats what you need to be working on. And I’m sure here come the “….but I love him, if only he would just…” No. Sorry. No stipulations in love. If you believe that God has made someone for you, as I do, why do you think that God would send you a fixer-upper? Was that your specific prayer? “Lord please send me a man almost perfect for me so I can change him into the person I want him to be. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.” Why settle…because that’s what it comes down to.
You accept the love you think you deserve. Again? for the people in the balcony… YOU ACCEPT THE LOVE YOU THINK YOU DESERVE. And I don’t know about you, but I deserve a new toaster that toasts bagles and bread, and pops them out gently with a *ding* hell if it could it would apply a light coating of butter too…So the real question is, why do you feel that YOU deserve broken love? Half-love. Conditional love. If, then love…why are you not worth the best?
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PREACH! This is so very relevant…I feel like this might be a timeless discussion. But apparently it doesn’t seem to make sense to people b/c they/we continue to think that they/we can change people. I’m so very glad to say that I’ve learned that no matter how hard you try you CANNOT change people. People will make a change when they are good and ready to themselves. And you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves. BTW, I love the prayer! LOL Very nice analogy
Girl! LOVE IT!
I have a friend who prides herself on wanting “fixer uppers” I always stare at her like WTF??? I don’t understand it, and you have worded this so perfectly!
[...] Yall know I talk mainly to my Ladies, but Men this can definitely go for you as well…why is it that you waste your time in bad relationships? Think, I’ll wait…Twitter friend @MrsCurvy even went so far as to ask, why women will fight so damned hard in a BF/GF relationship but will be so willing to give up their husband? Now this I’m speaking to the Ladies, why are you fighting so hard to get down that aisle? I mean women will justify and rationalize to the end of the earth as to why she is with a no-good man. She will find the spec of good in him that USED to be, and build her dreams around it. Thinking that she can love him enough that he’ll change; realize that she’s worth changing for and be the man she wants him to be. I don’t believe in that. I don’t buy broken toasters. [...]