There’s a Yiddish word, “bashert” thats kind of been in the forefront of my awareness lately. Bashert means “destiny”…so the commonly used phrase “bashert is bashert” translates to destiny is destiny. Novel right? Kind of like que sera, sera (what will be, will be). The yiddish meaning was taken in relation to soul mates and marriage. You find a partner that is “bashert” or destined for you and that is your match for life. Your destined mate. I’m using it a lot more loosely.
So I talked to this older man, he was in his mid 60s, and he was inadvertently giving me life advice while telling me colorful stories of his past. He told me the following:
- Marry the one who you can laugh and cry with. He said that its important to be able to be weak, vulnerable with your partner and similarly its important to be light and fun.
- Never go a day without love and happiness. Life is too short not to be happy. He said the less he worried about life, the less he had to. Beautiful advice.
- Don’t be in a hurry. He said marriage will come, family will come, money will come. In its own time, enjoy where I am. Funny bc I just told Deeds the other night something similar to this.
- Friends don’t hurt. He said I need to surround myself with things that are uplifting and also to be uplifting to others. Heaven in your heart brings peace to your mind.
I really wish I’d had longer than the 15-20 minutes I had to talk to him…we got a lot covered lol. What I took from it though, from my little piece of God in this man…was that you just have to slow down, take it in, look around, and breathe life. Destiny is Destiny. It will happen. EPL said, “…God long ago drew a circle in the sand exactly around the spot where you are standing right now. I was never not coming here. This was never not going to happen. (p.280)”
Maybe its trivial but this brings me extreme joy, peace…knowing that what will be will be and I don’t have to fight against certain things or have mental or emotional anguish. Where I am is where I’m supposed to be.
Sidebar…I’m really getting into reading religious philosophy. It started with Taoism, then Buddhism…now Judaism. Something extremely serene about reading peoples notes about their search for God, and even better what happens when they “find” Him.
Jess,
I found your blog from a Google alert, and I’m so glad I clicked over to read this post! That man gave you such beautiful advice. We all need reminders like this every so often. Sounds like your conversation was bashert! My clicking on this blog link certainly was!
This is beautiful. I have always appreciated the term Bashert, because it makes you think about its meaning, especially to someone that isn’t Jewish. I have been thinking a lot about religion lately and what you have written here is exactly where I am in my own world.
There is something extremely serene about reading peoples search for God. I am still trying to grasp that I was never not coming here. This was never not going to happen. That I am on a journey and I am not, nor ever will be alone.
Finding god is not trivial, it is an emotional experience to begin to except god into your life and does bring extreme joy, and peace knowing that what will be will be and I am is where I’m supposed to be.
Thank you for your post – you just made my day.