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We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams

I’ve always loved Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, the original one…not that Johnny Depp crap.  Whats wrong with living in the paradise of the mind?  If perception is reality then I prefer to perceive only beauty and wonder.  I have always been a big dreamer.  By that let me explain, I have always wanted a LOT of things for my life. I have very high expectations of myself and have an intense amount of things to accomplish in my short time here on earth.  I think big and work hard, and haven’t ever been ok with the word “no”.  I do what I want. In some ways that oblivious arrogance has worked to my advantage.

Right now I’m working as a counselor, or therapist (as more of you are likely more familiar with that terminology).  I am working with college aged kids, which is my dream, and I am feeling so at home.  I find something so rewarding about helping people.  Not only that, but helping college aged people, because they are just on the cusp of finding themselves.  Growing into the people they want to be.  Struggling shedding the skin of adolescence and walking in this fresh new body of adulthood.  Ooooh I love it.  I often wonder how I want to progress in my own life, in particular, in school.  Do I want to get an advanced degree in counseling?  Is that even necessary?  Do I want to educate budding counselors?  Do I want to work in educational policy and influence the politics of education?  Education has always been a passion of mine.  It took me a minute to find out how to work within it.  I knew, always, that I would be a writer.  Something to do with writing.  As I progressed through upper level English classes in college I quickly realized that that wasn’t for me.  I wanted to think and analyze a bit too much for the subjective based humanities.  I needed some scientific fact. Some proof. Something soft and hard.  Room for debate, but some kind of definitive conclusion.  So I made my major my minor and my minor my major. Psychology was it for me…In that…I quickly realized that research was NOT for me, I could do it just fine, but I wanted to talk to people. About everything!  And people liked talking to me. There’s no way I can NOT do this.  This is what I’m meant to do.

Love affair at hello…Long time ago, right after I got into my accident I was at Target in my neck brace riding in the handicapped seat cart thing, and someone stopped me and said, “baby you’re going to overcome that, and you’re going to do great things.”  I never knew what that meant. I’ve never thirsted for fame or celebrity, even in my field. I’d love to be known in my field and well respected…but never sought that.  I think, now, that those great things are simply the things I do everyday.  Listening to people.  Empathizing with people. Letting people know that they are not alone.  That someone cares enough to listen to them. Telling people they are worthy.  Helping them fight.  I’ve been kind of addicted to inspiring people.  I don’t want them to be like me…but just the best them.  If someone walks out of my office and says to themselves, “I feel renewed.”  I’ve done my job. If they breathe a little bit easier, can sleep at night, can express their feelings, can smile, can cry, and know that everything they feel is ok…then I’m wildly successful.

Its not about me.  I’ve never been about me.  I told Deeds that I often feel bigger than my body.  Perhaps that is my influence.  I take my role very seriously and hope that pieces of me stay with my clients.  Not me, Jessica, me hope.

“I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth will I apply ALL my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy.”

Og Mandino