Often I feel like…OMG I’m 28 and I need to ____________. Fill in the blank with various material indicators of adulthood, i.e. buy a car, own a home, have a life partner, have children with said partner, etc. The list goes on.  But yesterday when I heard the news that one of my childhood friends (literally we met at 10 years old) had died, suddenly 28 seemed lightyears away from adulthood, 28 is just the beginning.

I tried to wrap my head around what this constant sense of urgency that I and my peers often feel. Keeping up…we’re all playing that game, sometimes unknowingly. So and so just bought a house, I can barely afford rent, what am I doing wrong? So and so got a promotion and is celebrating with dinner at a restaurant I can’t even afford to park at, what am I doing wrong? Its endless. And while I’d like to think I have infinite amount of time to get all these things accomplished, the reality is…this is a Monday morning my friend won’t get.

It made me realize just how okay with myself I need to be. If I never own a home, buy a new car, make 6 figures, take fancy vacations, it does not add or take away from the life I lived and the love I gave. Those things are just things. They are inconsequential and we’re massaged into giving them copious amounts of control over our lives, but that just isn’t the point of it all. I was not put here on this earth to buy Louis bags.

So while my heart is heavy for a family who misses you and friends who cherish you, it is also full of gratitude for Quoneshia, because through her passing I gained perspective. Its not about the stuff, or even the accolades…its just about the hearts, the relationships, the people…the love.

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