Who am I?

JessicaT

Who am i?
I am the singer who cannot sing
words caught somewhere between my mind and my throat
trapped in the prison of my being
desperate to escape
desperate to express themselves
A tone deaf lyricist who yearns to be heard
who is destined to revolutionize
inspire and catalyze the generations yet to come.
I am the artist who cannot paint
and not for wanting, filled to the brim with genius
but whose colors always come out brown.
The owner of canvas, and easels,
oils and paints
charcoal and sketch pads empty and stacked in a corner.
With art spilling from my fingertips leaving stains on my keyboard
and remnants of me on everything I touch.
I am the actor too absorbed in herself to portray a character.
Like a genie to his master
I am a slave to the written word.
I am a poet.
I am communication.
I am yearning
I am the said and the unsaid.
The thought and the plight.
I am the the circle with no beginning
a walking contradiction
synecdoche of being…
I am life.
I am death.
I am love and loss.
I am everything at once,
and nothing at all.

My List of 101 things to complete in 1001 days, started on 1/1/2008

  1. Go to Italy
  2. Go to Greece
  3. Go to the Grand Canyon
  4. Go to Las Vegas
  5. Sell a photograph
  6. Buy a camera with money made solely from working
  7. Run a 5k
  8. Go to Washington, D.C.
  9. Go to a Falcons game
  10. Buy an Apple laptop
  11. Eliminate credit card debt
  12. Get accepted into a Graduate school Photography program
  13. Obtain my Masters degree
  14. Learn to speak Spanish fluently
  15. Own two pair of Burberry pajamas
  16. Own a pair of Jimmy Choo putty colored heels
  17. Own a pair of Christian Louboutin heels
  18. Learn to play tennis
  19. Learn the art of wine-tasting
  20. Begin to learn French
  21. Continue studying Sign Language
  22. Continue studying Italian
  23. Spend New Year’s Eve on vacation
  24. Run everyday for a month
  25. Run everyday for 2 months
  26. Run everyday for 6 months
  27. Become a UT season ticket holder
  28. Travel to a Vols away game
  29. Get my own apartment
  30. Get my own condo
  31. Buy my own car
  32. Keep my hair regularly trimmed and permed
  33. Get glasses
  34. Shoot a wedding
  35. Shoot a family
  36. Shoot a Graduate
  37. Spend Christmas away from home
  38. Keep a professional pedicure throughout winter
  39. Spend a day at the spa
  40. Volunteer to work with victims of domestic violence
  41. Volunteer to work with deaf children
  42. Attend a Howard Homecoming
  43. Start a 401K
  44. Get a professional website up and running
  45. Get business cards
  46. Go a month without McDonald’s
  47. Go 2 months without McDonald’s
  48. Go a month without fast food
  49. Go 2 months without fast food
  50. Attend a bridal expo (for professional reasons)
  51. Go to a Prince concert
  52. Own a receiver with surround sound
  53. Buy a projector
  54. Keep fresh flowers in my home for a month
  55. Own complete Harry Potter Hardback collection
  56. Take an alternative spring/summer/fall break
  57. Get off Facebook for a month
  58. Get off Facebook for 2 months
  59. Get a puppy
  60. Get an aquarium
  61. Learn FLASH
  62. Visit Hawaii
  63. Stay in a Four Seasons hotel
  64. See Wicked live
  65. See Aida live
  66. Send a postcard to Post Secret
  67. Vote in all 2008 presidential elections
  68. Have dinner alone
  69. Learn to play Poker
  70. Send Christmas cards of my own design
  71. Buy a full set of princess length pearls
  72. Buy diamond earrings
  73. Participate in Breast Cancer walk
  74. Ask a guy out on a date
  75. Drink water everyday for a month
  76. Wash off makeup and use moisturizer everyday for a month
  77. Work professionally in my field steadily
  78. Start taking a dance class
  79. Try strip-aerobics
  80. Visit museums in New York
  81. Go to an art gallery exhibition/opening
  82. Have a huge 25th birthday party
  83. Increase my credit score by 100 points
  84. Begin to write my book
  85. Do something nice for my step dad
  86. Do something nice for my mother
  87. Do something nice just with my sisters and I
  88. Do something nice just for Dresha and I
  89. End every personal phone call with I love you
  90. Support undiscovered jazz/neo-soul artists
  91. Attend UT game with entire family
  92. Wake up every weekday by 8 a.m.
  93. Take a cooking class
  94. STOP drinking and driving. Period.
  95. Blog more, its therapeutic :-)
  96. Read a book a week for a month
  97. Take my sister to a UGA game
  98. Visit Colorado
  99. Dentist 2x a year
  100. Read the newspaper (for more than the Crossword puzzle)
  101. Go 6 months without over drafting my checking account
  102. Make a new 101 list on the eve of my 1001st day (Sept 9, 2010)

3 Comments

  1. Hello,

    I totally love your list!
    Great job on your list and your accomplishments. I make lists, too, but not that long. :)
    Take dance classes. I did for a year and it has been great. Ballroom. Trust me you’ll have a lot of fun, just get a nice teacher.
    I think you have inspired me to do something like this on my own blog.
    Thanks and good luck!

  2. Jess,
    You inspire me to “use my words” lol, expand my mind and make my spirit limitless. I never thought that I could actually enjoy a blog as much as I enjoy jessj, but I honestly am glad that I’ve been introduced to you, your thoughts, dreams, words, creativity – your world. Continue to inspire my friend.

  3. Hello,

    My name is Brooke . I am currrently interning with Xposure Magazine. We are a diversity magazine in Tulsa, Ok. I saw a resent blog of yours talking about HBCUs. Have they outlasted their time? It would be great if you would be available for telephone interview.
    Thank you!


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