So yesterday I was watching the Sex and the City Movie and got to the wedding scene (which always gives me such anxiety, I feel like Big. Why all this shit?!? but everytime I pray for him to just get out of the car and suck it up)…I think its kinda crazy that the character I identify with is Big. I mean I know there are some obvious parallels to Carrie and I…writing…shoes…etc but I do and have always felt Big. So then I looked at this bird on Carrie’s head: and I think…that it SO Carrie, like I don’t know what could have been more Carrie than the bird on her head, and its so funny because honestly who would put a bird on their head? Now the bigness of the wedding eh…that wasn’t her which is why I think Big freaked out…too much pretense. Too much pomp and circumstance. Its not about all that, its about the couple. It was then that I started thinking, what, if anything is “so Jessica”??? I was drawing blanks. So I text BFFBA and BFFN about my dilemma…Before they responded I’d come to the conclusion that, I-like Big-don’t want a wedding. I’ve never wanted the big fancy dress and the flowers and all that, I would be perfectly fine eloping. I do want the big party. So I text them stating my new revelation, and BFFN said, “THAT is SO you”.
And I suppose she is right. For the most part, I’m a pretty go with the flow person. I like what I like, and I crave simplicity. I don’t like fuss and drama. To me, that’s what a wedding is. I compare it to other moments in love, I’ve imagined…I don’t want a public engagement. Nothing sounds worse to me than him and I surrounded by a million people sharing a “moment”…Its just not me. However, I do love to entertain, I love my friends and family…it only seems right. So here’s what I decided to do (hope he agrees) I just want to elope (still in Jamaica) then come back a week later and have the reception stateside. Then off to Greece 🙂 Nothing’s changed about the honeymoon! LOL
What does this mean in the grand scheme of things? Well remember the other day when I was having a Juno-moment and didn’t know what kind of girl I was…I think I realized that, the kind of girl I am is the one most comfortable being comfortable. The best part of being dressed up, is getting ready and peeling it all off and slipping on basketball shorts. I hate shopping-unless its for shoes-and I’d rather have a good time than be dressed to the 9s. I think back to my first love…I’ve never been more comfortable with a person before. And we had so much fun together, doing nothing at all…that is me. That’s what I like in friendships, life, and love. People you can just be with. Unapologetically. Thats me. No frills, no bells, no whistles…but please keep the cocktails coming.