Clean

God, why do I storm heaven for answers that are already in my heart?  Every grace I need has already been given me.  Oh, lead me to the Beyond within.

~Macrina Wieherkehr

I’m feeling rather bare. In a good way.  Clean. I wanted my blog to reflect that…so here we go.  A few things got deleted.  I find that as I age and grow I favor province.  As a result…well you see it.  The above quote is introspective…an allusion to the seventh chakra: the Crown chakra…Kind of funny I took to that…if you follow my blog you know my affinity for “being” and “existentialism” so its only natural I was drawn to the 7th.  If you’re not sure what a chakra is, here’s a brief definition:

Chakras are our energy centers. They are the openings for life energy to flow into and out of our aura. Their function is to vitalize the physical body and to bring about the development of our self-consciousness. They are associated with our physical, mental and emotional interactions.

I don’t know if what I’ve been on can be constituted as any kind of awakening.  I suppose the old folks would say I’ve been “goin through”.  Its just been a trying time in my life.  But yesterday I broke. All the way down.  I feel like I came full circle too.  Like the things I was feeling are so far removed from me…and I didn’t really sleep last night. Poor Deeds, neither did he. I guess I was, for once, not sorting and just being those emotions.  Lots of tears, lots of talking, lots of being open.  Lots of hard stuff.  I am by no means advising anyone on how to become more at peace or “enlightened”.  Simply sharing my experience… I might paint today…