How freakin appropriate is this? Gotta love google images. Anyway, so continuing on with things drummed up from my reading of Committed… in the book Liz is searching for personal meaning with the social convention of marriage. At one point in the book she compares marriage to being the ultimate subversive act, because no government, religion, sect, authority has been able to undermine or control the union of two people. We, ultimately, do what we want anyway, regardless of law or tradition.
For years I planned a wedding, a grand affair in the center of my home town, Atlanta, attended by everyone in my life that loved me and my husband. As I got older my wedding went from the Four Seasons with 250 guests, to Jamaica with 50 guests, to Beach X with him, I, God, and God’s rep. Liz is also rebelling against the ceremonial headache that is marriage, but she is met with opposition from everyone, in her life. The most compelling argument comes from a friend of hers who asserts, “MARRIAGE IS NOT A PRAYER, therefore it cannot be done in private…it is a cermony of vows, of commitment that we say before witnesses who validate our agreement.
In all this, I couldn’t help but think about the “unspeakable vow” from Harry Potter. The most binding of vows still needed a witness. Surely marriage is more binding than allegiance ? Theoretically at least. So what does that mean for my wedding? I can’t deny that I am, believe it or not, a supremely private person and would like nothing more than to keep my marriage between only he and I, but the truth of the matter is its not just about us. Its a merge of families, of traditions, of not just our lives. Maybe our families should be there…and really who can distinguish between family we’re born to and family we make?
I’m not sure what I want anymore, this book has thoroughly confused me lol…I think, what I can be certain of, is that whatever WE want is what WE will do. He and I will make the decision and stick to it. We decide whats right for us…The prototype of subversion…but really, we’ll do what we want anyway-in the end.