By any means necessary

Last year, there were quite a few weddings that I didn’t understand. This year there (of course) will be more, and so on and so forth.  In regards to this phenomenon a friend of mine, who is divorced, said, “Women tell themselves all kinds of lies to get.down.that.aisle.” I couldn’t agree more.

My mom, just a few days ago, told me that she wanted me to know if I never got married that she wouldn’t be any less proud of me.  That is not to say that she’s against me getting married, but that having a husband does not culminate my success as a person.  She also said, women get too caught up in the wedding. To this I look to Liz (as I often do)…in Committed she wrote:

“The desire to feel chosen. A wedding; a public event that will unequivocally prove to everyone, especially to myself, that I am precious enough to have been selected by somebody forever…What better confirmation of her preciousness could she summon than a ceremony in a beautiful church where she could be regarded by all in attendance as a princess, a virgin, an angel, a treasure beyond rubies? Who could fault her for wanting to know-just once-what that feels like? (169)”

To that I think…well yes, but shouldn’t you feel that everyday? Isn’t that the reason you should get married ? He brings all those feelings to surface? A wedding is not a marriage and the two are more often than not mutually exclusive.  A wedding would be nice, but I want a marriage. Not, however, at the cost of myself, or my future husband.  Even the great Carrie Bradshaw fell prey…


She admittedly let the wedding get bigger than Big. All in all my ladies, I gotta say, we can’t get too caught up in flowers and white dresses.  Is the foundation of the relationship sound? Is the need for this wedding just to prove something? Why are you getting married? Just food for thought.

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