Of all the forgotten letters in the English language…
Deeds and I have been planning a trip to Seattle about 9 months or so. Maybe slightly less than, but close to that long. We have places to see lined up, things to do, and most importantly, meals to eat once we get there. Originally, Seattle was supposed to be the place where we met (for the first time) and it was going to be us in a cabin outside the city on a mountain somewhere. Alas, we picked October and that’s the time that these sorts of places close because well, snow is a-coming! The roads get bad and so forth and so on. Who knew, that people actually had real winters. Anyway so the cabin part was becoming more trouble than it was worth, so we planned simply to stay in Seattle.
Last night, I was mentioning doing something that we said was “for Seattle,” while I was in LA next week. He kept refusing, and I couldn’t understand why. After a bit of pressure and me getting kind of huffy, I asked him…”Wait…are you wanting to wait because you want it to be special? Like…you want Seattle to be special?” He said, “Yes.” Well Holy cheese balls…why didn’t I think of that? He was trying to be romantic and I was being my normal impatient self. After I realized what he wanted, and why, I eased up and completely agreed with him. Then I felt like a total moron for not recognizing that this trip, this Seattle trip full of naps, eating, museums, exploring, and fun was our first trip together. It is going to be special. It was going to be romantic. Romance. DUH
I know my friends say I’m such a Carrie, but literally I had to laugh once I realized what the cause of my boyfriend’s stubbornness was. ROMANCE. It really just never crossed my mind. Are we that jaded? Am I? By now I should know how much he loves me…but every now and again I’m surprised by something. Usually something trivial that’s gone unaccounted for. Why do I suck at this?
There’s a note in my phone that holds all the sweet things Deeds says. Not your everyday things, but the really good stuff. I believe I told you guys the story of the word “Sincere” but just in case I didn’t, here it is again. During the Renaissance, a marble sculptor who’d made a mistake would patch it up with wax. After awhile, “without wax” came to signify anything flawless, pure or true. In Spanish, “without wax” is “sin cera” – and that’s how we get the word “sincere.” I told this to Deeds one night and he said, “but aren’t we each others wax?” In this same way… I have to marvel at my Romance mentor. My lacking in the capacity to (possibly) exhibit and (certainly) recognize romance is patched up with wax by my boyfriend’s absolute insistence of it.
Everyday I feel I have faith enough, but yesterday’s faith is never enough for today. It must grow. I must grow, a little bit better and a little bit wiser. At least that’s the theory. Remember Romance. Grow in that, faithfully.