I try to following a few intellectual people to balance out the tomfoolery that happens on twitter, one of my great equalizers is Roland S. Martin. Today he tweeted a link to an article entitled, “The Main Ingredient in Marriage,” by Rev. James Meeks. Here is an excerpt:
It is the married man’s responsibility to help our wives reach their full potential. If your wife has spots and wrinkles, you need to go into the spot removal business.
That is why pornography is so bad. You look at a woman who has no spots or no wrinkles. She has been airbrushed. Every clip on the Net or TV has been edited. Here is a woman making absolutely no demands on you. Then you face your wife, who can live up to the unrealistic fantasies you have created in your mind.
With pornography, you’re taking all of your emotions and affections out of your house.
Whatever your wife’s weaknesses are, you have to love her in and through that weakness.
Men, if you don’t like what your wife is wearing, buy her some new clothes. And ladies, if you don’t like what he wants you to wear, ask yourself who you are dressing for; him or your boss?
Men, stop fussing because all of your wife runs the gas out of the car.
Men, all of a wife’s weaknesses are your fault. Why? Because you haven’t figured them out yet. You are going to love her out of her weaknesses.
When we lift our hands in praise, it’s nice that Jesus doesn’t say, “you are too fat. You need new clothes. I don’t like your hair. You smell like sin.” When we become before him, we can come just as we are.
Every man who isn’t loving his wife this way, he isn’t loving her right. (Click HERE for the full article)
This reminds me of the “without wax” notion. So many, including myself pre-relationship, would argue that we are complete and partners only compliment. I think…we think we’re whole, until we meet that someone that fills us in a way we didn’t know we were empty in. Its like, google. I was fine without google before. I could find things out, and my sun still rose and set daily. However, not I use google everyday multiple times daily and I would not voluntarily go a day without it. Yes…I did just liken my boyfriend the love of my life, and partner in this world to google.
I wonder how many couples feel this way? Ones looking for marriage that is. Although, honestly I don’t understand why anyone my age would be dating for sport anymore. Anyway, today I shared this article with my friend JEM:
JEM: Hmmm interesting
me: i think so too
JEM: I feel like that might be a bit of pressure on men, but I like the sentiment
me: i think its necessary pressure…i honestly think much of the issues with men is the lack of expectancy. there’s no rising to the challenge.
JEM: that’s true
And I feel that way about a lot of things…we just want things to be easy, and in that we have lost the value in so many things. We don’t want to parent, and look at the youth. We like the idea of being parents but we don’t want to be criticized, we don’t want our children to be angry with us, we don’t want them to dislike us. Why do we have to make things easy for men? I’d like to think that if he is truly a man he will rise to the challenge and prove himself. Why is it not ok for men to prove themselves?
I’m happy I got a real man. One unafraid of challenge and of being a man.