Pretty much all yesterday I was a happy, beaming soul. I don’t know if it was my hair, or just deciding that the day would be wonderful-but it truly was. A “trending topic” in my day seemed to be trustworthy friends. Surrounding yourself with positive people who are inspiration, ambitious, driven, positive, (insert attributes you see in yourself OR aspire to see in yourself). First, the good Doctor and I had a chat about how much as changed in only a year of our lives. This time last year being “settled down” was not on our minds AT all. I had a boyfriend, but she didn’t yet and neither of us was really thinking “us” in terms of our respective futures. Now, however, that is the opposite of true. Not only that, but realizing that we’re different people, who have outgrown some things (and in my case even some people) and learning to accept that that’s ok.
Second, I had a client whom I told, the true test of friendship is not those that will be there to watch you and sit with you in suffering, but those that can stand with you and joy and simply celebrate you. How many of your friends can stand to see you blessed? I asked my client to make a list of those people and invest in them, because they were the people of value. After the session I started to think about that in my own life. If something good happens to me, who do I tell first?
- Mom and Grandma (which inevitably means my entire family)
- Dr. Roomie
Not that no one else wouldn’t care, or wouldn’t be elated for me, because I think a lot of my friends would, especially the ones I made in college, but then I can think of a few people who I wouldn’t think twice about including. Because they wouldn’t be the slightest bit moved by my news. They may say congratulations or send praise, but the place that it comes from is a place of obligation, and not sincerity. So, then I challenged myself to do the same thing I asked my client to do. Who says therapy isn’t helpful?
Lastly, I am a TA for a class, and run the labs along with three other supervisors. The professor is up in the classroom giving the lesson, and we take half the class then trade and let them practically apply their lesson in mock-sessions. Let me just say, this is the most fun/introspective/challenging/rewarding thing I’ve done to date in Graduate School. Anyway, afterwards the professor and the supervisors all get together and debrief…last night we got a bit side-tracked and started talking about friendships. One sup said “Will you be my BFF?” and the other said, “Sure, but don’t expect much from me.” We all laughed because of course she was joking, but it got me thinking. Prof said, “When I think of BFF I think of one person.” We all agreed. My one person is definitely Deeds. I think choosing your partner is cop-out though (lol) and I’d be interested in knowing who he thought my real BFF-nonBF is…Does it matter? The title? I’m not sure anymore. I will say that, anyone I’ve ever called my best friend, at the time I truly felt it was true. As I grow older and get (even more) selectively social I’m hesitant to throw that title around. I will, however, work on making sure the people in my life are good quality people of value…that’ll be my project for the remainder of 2010.