I’m tired of learning shit.
The more I learn about the world the further I want to turn up the Rihanna that plays in my head until I’m back in my happy place. I don’t care about economic policy, the war in Afghanistan, the poverty in Haiti, the snow and ice, the unemployment rates, the government budget cuts, the homelessness, the diseases, the mental health field in shambles…I just don’t want to know.
Call it what you will, but the more I learn about these things the more disheartened I become as a citizen of the universe. The more powerless I feel, and the more I question my own impact. I learn something and I say to myself, does it really matter if I have a 4.0 in the grand scheme of things? I mean honestly…is that going to make anything better?
There’s something to that whole ignorance is bliss notion.
Eff the government.
Eff everything that’s not synonymous with rainbows and sunshine.
Last year I learned how to balance friends and family…or rather their issues and not making them my own. I learned how to let grown people be grown people and protect my own sanity. How, now, do I justify wanting to make a difference to the greater whole that realistically doesn’t care about any of this shit either as long as The Bachelor is on TV, and McDonald’s stays open? Damn it why do I care when no one else does? Is it wrong to ask the Lord to take away my insight and just bless me with a song in my heart?