Spotting Fishermen

In the movie Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps Michael Douglas’ character Gordon Gekko delivers this beautiful line, “a fisherman can always spot another fisherman,” alluding to the fact that we can easily recognize in others what we know of ourselves. I thought of this when AJ spoke about his lessons in listening yesterday. He mentioned everyone being on the same page, but no one talking about it. Thoreau said, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.” AJ went on to say that as he has begun to listen more acutely he sees that we are all on the same page and has become more comfortable with the page he is on. When we are quiet and listen, not so ironically, we hear more. When we are still and quiet we hear and see more, we are more aware of our experience and the experience of those around us. In the Bible it says “Be still and know that I am God…” listening is something we must do in our entirety.  I thought about how through my own counseling I’m able to pick up on certain “issues” my clients and I have in common. Even if I do not openly express our bond, my recognition of it helps me relay more empathy and also feel less anxious in my own struggle. This is what AJ’s comment aroused in my mind; surely he’s speaking of spotting fishermen!

Pain of hit> Pain of rejection. I mentally marinated over this and the notion of being molested for the rest of the evening. Why is it that people stay in harmful situations? Endure discomfort even as extreme as absuse? I used to believe that it was because of comfort in pain. Pain is familiar and pain is predictable so they grow roots in it. Then I thought, well maybe trying for happiness is too scary. The idea that in leaving the pain I will not instantly stumble upon happiness could be disappointing or seem fruitless. A friend of mine finds herself in relationships where she is controlled, demeaned, manipulated, and belittled. It struck a chord when I heard that the pain of hit is FAVORABLE to the pain of rejection. Physically we can heal, physically we show signs of hurt that let us see what is too far. Psychologically, that is not the case. How does one know when they are being emotionally lynched to within an inch of death? There is no scar for that, there are no bruises nor wounds. Certainly there are consequences, but immediately? Then, what is the measure of “okay”? If I can still walk, talk, laugh, get dressed and brush my teeth in the morning then am I okay?

A Brain can do all kinds of things, but the things that it can do are not the most important things.

~The Tao of Pooh

In the assertion of obesity being a psychological problem rather than a physical one, I thought about the western separation of mind and body, and the preferance for mind over body. Why is it so often that feelings are written off as invalid or unreliable? Our ability to feel and emote is far more primative than our ability to reason and deduce. This insistance of quantifiable evidence…WHY?! I wonder how often we feel things then tell ourselves we’re being silly only to regret our decision to ignore our bodies? I wonder how many times a day our intution speaks to us and we doubt its validity.

Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head? — Harry
Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean it is not real? — Dumbledore

Our imagination is the first blue print for possibilities yet to be realized. I find myself passionately upset at the world I’ve been given. This world that favors traits I have but do not hold as sacred, this world that defines my gifts as flights of fancy or imagined. I suppose that leads to anterior and posterior heavens. My social endowment says that logic, science, math, absolutism, imperilism of thought and tangible proof are things of value and are to be revered. I am currently, then, sorting through my inheritence and deciding how much of it, if not all of it, is bullshit. How much of everything I know serves to not disrupt a defunct and broken system in which I am not a benefactor? My posterior heaven consists of, mostly, finding my lost self and telling her it is ok to Be.

My mind truly races in this class; to movies, and books, and quotes, philosophies, theories, laws and equations, I skim through it all. Everything is related anyway, right? I came up with this personal mission statement:

Breathe. Yield to God, always. Answer with love. Remember your purpose was written, as are all things.

Maybe (and may I say…in exploring my own times of uncertainty I’ve noticed when my language mirrors my confidence, as a result I have become acutely aware of statements concerning words without a backbone such as ‘maybe’ or ‘kinda’. I hate that I notice it and I blame listening for my new annoyance, but now I speak slower until I can be certain of whatever it is i am going to say…most of the time) it had to be that way, though? In being given a perfect world I would have little to no motivation to work towards making things better. I may even be unappreciative of the things that make me unique. So yes, it did have to be that way. Of course it did, The Way is not new.

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