Lessons

In my life, I’ve learned that men disappoint. I’ve learned that they will say the right thing and then do another. I’m not sure if I self-select to fulfill my prophecy of disappointment, or what. A friend once told me not to take things so personally.
Tonight I proposed to Deeds that we just be friends for a while. This coming after the delivery of very disappointing news; that he would miss my graduation. I tried very hard not to make him every other man in my life, because he isn’t. But in that moment I felt the weight of a lifetime of let down.
We talked it out…I’m still feeling that weight. I’m re-evaluating some things. Not just as it relates to him, but to my choices and my expectations. The last thing he said to me tonight was, “The day you bare my name, all of this will be worth it. I put my life on that.” I need to sit with myself for a while and figure out exactly what I need. What I want.
My Self keeps telling me to “let go” but I’m not sure what of? I just need quiet.

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One thought on “Lessons

  1. I don’t know your relationship so I diss your guy or make excuses for him. I’m terrible at casual dating so I know how hard it is not to get too attached before the time is right. You know how best to protect your heart. Everything in your life has been unfolding the way it should, and this won’t be the exception. *e-hugs*

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