I was catching up on all my DVR today. Its Saturday so the job search is an online search. I was watching Oprah and she was talking about the greatest lessons she’s ever learned. One lesson in particular haunted me, and I wasn’t sure why.
She was interviewing Maya Angelou and she said, “I had called you crying over something I don’t even remember what anymore but you told me in that moment to stop and say, ‘Thank You,’ say Thank you.” And Maya interjected and said, “yes we must always say thank you because we must let it be known that our faith is unshakeable.“
I feel as if I’ve been through a whirlwind of emotions today. I needed an outlet. I needed to get out but I couldn’t. There’s nowhere for me to go. I refused to succumb to either of my old band-aids, which is good. I am in the midst of rereading Eat Pray Love and I couldn’t ignore the nagging words of Liz Gilbert:
“When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience.”
So I sat in my complete agony, uncomfortable and crying, praying and just waiting. I wrote a note to my best friend’s mom and I ended by admitting I didn’t know exactly what I was asking for in my note. I couldn’t shake Maya’s advice…to say thank you. So I sat until I could find something to be thankful for…I came up with the following offering to God
Thank you for giving me a platform. Thank you for giving me strength over my vices. Thank you for the insight to know that this is conquerable.
Then I stopped crying. I got out of the ball I was laying in. I got up and stretched and I felt like so much of the weight had been lifted. Nothing had been solved, no, but sitting in my mudpile and saying Thank You. That was foreign…foreign and effective. Maybe I’ll add to my personal mission statement a note to give thanks, even in adversity.