I woke up this morning with my spirit stirred. I can’t tell y’all how good it felt last week to not give up on God. To know and be sure that He heard my prayers, He saw my need and He was going to provide for me. I can’t help but to be in awe of Him.
I was watching Maya Angelou’s “Master Class” last night and she said “as you learn, teach.” Then of course the harder part is following your own teachings. I realized how my words, my lessons of life documented in this little journal are my teachings. When I wanted to quit I read “self-sufficient” when I was doubtful and afraid I read “Flirting with doubt” then I got frustrated because I realize that this is what it means that when you know better you do better. Once you have learned the lesson it just doesn’t feel right to do anything else BUT right! So I thanked my words. I thanked Oprah. I thanked Maya Angelou. And I thanked God.
I was laying here thinking about writing and thinking about how lately every post bears mention to Him. I never mean to sound preachy, its just that if we’re talking about change in my life then I have to talk about Him. You cannot say “Lord order my steps…but let’s go this way.” You have to let go of the wheel. Sometimes you’ve gone so far in the wrong direction you just have to hold on until He can get you out of the woods. One thing is for sure, you (nor any man) are not the Father. If you keep telling God YOUR plans or trying to write your OWN way its going to be a mighty difficult road. When we refuse the help of someone who knows…its always more difficult. Just let Him work!
Lil Beyonce asked me if I could hear spirits. I told her no, I didn’t think so. She asked me if I believed in aliens or ufos, I shrugged and said I guess anything is possible. The thing about religion is its binding limits. The thought that accepting two men that are in love is somehow displeasing to God confuses me. I just do not believe that God put limits on love, and really that’s all acceptance is; loving something or someone for who they are. And who they are is a child of God.
There was a point last night Maya made about a note of the philosopher Terance,”I am a human. Nothing human can be foreign to me.” I think this roots us in connectedness to our fellow men. There is no one too smart to be ignorant nor too saved to be a sinner. She said that if you see greatness in someone else then you should know that greatness is possible of you as well. Similarly, a lesson in humility, as someone can fail or fall you too can fail and fall. Its what makes us siblings. No one knows your way, but the father, so no one can tell me or you or anyone how to love. And love is ALL there is.