A few days ago I was talking to my friend
C-uhhh The Goddess about Twitter…and how much we both hate it. Don’t get me wrong, we both use it and speaking solely for myself get great advice/wisdom/networking/entertainment/etc. from it. But I hate it because of the strain it puts on my relationship. I’ve noticed this with a few of my friends that are in relationships. The guys can tweet on and on about sports, food, women, ignorant ish, for hours and hours and they don’t see it as real life so it seems silly to address it as a problem in real life.
One of my guy friends is a big flirt on there. He can be real borderline when it comes to appropriate and though I don’t know how the girls he dates feels, just being a girl I find it to be a huge turn off and completely disrespectful. I look at it like this, if you want to be with me, then act like it. When I’m there and when I’m not there. That means cutting the twitter heauxs loose and being proud of the one you have. He would (and has) argued me down that its all in fun, but its selfish and self-centered. Neither of those things belong in a relationship.
The Goddess and I both vent to each other because we both find ourselves frustrated by the fact that 1) we have to compete for attention with a social network and 2) our significant others don’t see it that way. Sometimes I want to say IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOU SEE IT THAT WAY, IT IS THAT WAY! MY FEELINGS ARE VALID!! But that would get me nowhere. Deeds and I actually had a talk about it this morning that went nowhere. I learned a while ago you can’t just say what the problem is…men are solution focused, so say what you want. I tried that. I admitted I wanted and needed attention. Not just you talking to me, but doing so with purpose and intention.
Sometimes I miss how it was when things were new. When they made it their business to get your attention by any means necessary. They flirted with you (*gasp* in public ! Even around their boys) and woke you up with messages like “Good morning beautiful, hope your day goes well”. When they took time to plan dates, and spoiled you with attention listening so intently you wondered if they were taking mental notes. Back when they noticed small things without you pointing them out. They asked about things you only mentioned once or twice. They TRIED! I get so angry because I see it as a choice…you can choose to just be comfortable or you can choose to exert a little effort. You can choose to tweet all eff word day, or you can choose to be with the person you say you want to spend your life with.
I’m not saying I’m perfect. I’m just saying…its harder to get through the mucky stuff when you’re feeling like they’re indifferent to you even being there half the time. If you can get attention from the twitter masses and they can make you laugh/smile/cry/angry/etc. then why am I even here again? Maybe I just need a reminder.
How the fuck can they not understand that?!