Today my book of faces status reads: I knew if I just sat still with an open heart I would be pointed in the right direction. Lets work backwards. Before I left for San Diego I was sitting with Nama in her living room and she made a statement something to the effect of, “I assumed you would be studying spiritual awareness/alternative healing given all that has happened this year.” If you are a faithful reader then you understand her comment. If not, then she means finding out about being an empath, the experience of the Tao of Healing class, the concentrated effort of being more patient, listening to the universe/God, in short: Waking up. Not to say that mentorship (what I thought I would be studying when I entered my Doc program) isn’t wonderful, but all things considered… Well then I got to CA and met with my faculty advisor who, after I explained to her my experience with the Tao of Healing said, “Well why on earth aren’t you studying that? You seem to have a real vested interest in it?” I spoke with Nama that night and she said, “You know that you can’t ignore it and its only going to get louder.” Well I do know enough to know that. I’ve also noticed that it usually takes me hearing something three times for me to take it seriously. With this I knew at two, but was waiting for more direction. I knew it would come, but I silently abandoned my work on mentorship because I knew…it was coming.
Last night Deeds went the library and got 8 books, as he listed off the titles of them he asked which one he should start with. One title “The Power of Premonition,” stuck-out to me for obvious reasons and I suggested he start there. Because he is a total nerd, he researched the author, Dr. Larry Dossey, before even starting the book and found some webcasts he’d done with Oprah on her XM radio show. I listened to him speak about the power of prayer, not necessarily religious prayer, but meditative prayer where we are spiritually connected to the universe and we surrender our wants (ego) in favor of moving in directions guided by a higher power with infinitely more wisdom. Dossey explained it simply as “Thy will be done” Oprah reiterated it as her own personal prayer, “Guide my footsteps.” I knew then that I had to know more and contribute to this school of thought. This doctrine that I believe so absolutely because…well mainly because it has been my life for at least the past 7 months and I have witnessed first hand the power in surrender. I immediately emailed my advisor and told her of my thoughts, and asked if she thought it was a good idea for my dissertation. By the time I woke up she had written me back with names of people, books to read, classes to take, and centers to explore. Clearly she is familiar with the idea, and clearly we were placed together for a reason. There are NO coincidences.
Before I left home my family went to my grandmother’s church to hear her give a testimony on Psalm 23 and how it has influenced her life. While I won’t go into the details of her most wonderful speech I will say that my Grandmother is definitely the cornerstone of the spiritual foundation for me and many members of my family. My cousins and I knew that if we spent the night at Grandma’s house over the weekend we better have clothes for church because we were definitely going, no excuses. Furthermore, she was always singing a hymn or gospel song, and she always reminded (and reminds us still) that all we have to do is trust in the Lord. I feel in many ways I have come full circle with my beliefs and that I owe much of that to her.
Things are being revealed to us daily, but so many of us are not listening…there’s too much noise for us to hear. Consider this (something I found a few days ago)
“They” said that we will notice the physical effects more as the frequencies and vibrations increase. Many of us can sense on another level of our being that something is happening. With the changes subtly going on around us, our physical bodies must also change in order to adjust. Some of these physical symptoms are unpleasant and cause concern. “You will see and notice that as the frequency of the planet continues to raise in terms of its vibration, you will have less difficulty with symptoms of energy blockages.”
The world is begging and the more we ignore it the louder it will get until we wake up and pay attention. It really is an amazing time to be alive, and in my lifetime I believe I will get to see many cycles of things. What I hope is that I do not become my own enemy…
O Great Spirit,
whose voice I hear in the winds and whose
breath gives life to all the world, hear me.
I am small and weak.
I need your strength and wisdom.
Let me walk in beauty and let my eyes
ever behold the red and purple sunset.
Make my hands respect the things
you have made and my ears grow sharp
to hear your voice.
Make me wise so that I may understand
the things you have taught my people.
Let me learn the lessons
you have hidden in every leaf and rock.
I seek strength not to be greater
than my brother or sister
but to fight my greatest enemy, myself.
Make me always ready to come to you
with clean hands and straight eyes.
So when life fades as the fading sunset,
my spirit may come to you
Native American Tradition
“Let me walk in beauty”
Epilogue I literally thought to myself, “I can do a year of prayer and it will contribute to both my personal growth as well as the maturation of this dissertation research”. Right now I am thinking of studying how prayer helps the success of a student, and learning prayer from Native Americans as well as those in India (though my advisor just mentioned working with people in South Africa who may be studying similar topics). The possibilities for this excite me. This is vocation. This was definitely a calling.