Black Barbie White Ken

Now for those readers who know me personally, this post may elicit a -_- face.  Here’s why:

I have never (seriously) considered dating outside of my race.  The reason why this makes 0 sense is because my step-dad is white and my mother is black, he has been the live-in father in my life since I was in elementary school so clearly I have had intimate proximity to interracial love.  Why now is it just coming up on my radar? Oddly enough, this article I read by Tamera Mowry where she addresses the topic, she says to (Essence) Do you have any advice for women considering dating outside of their race who may be apprehensive about it?
TAMERA: Well, I always find these questions so interesting, because I’m a product of an interracial marriage — and I never really grew up seeing color. I honestly realized that my dad was White when someone told me in middle school. They’re like, “Oh your dad’s White?” I’m like, “Oh, my gosh, he really is White.” I knew what race was, but it didn’t matter to me. Yes we are an interracial couple. The thing is we do still deal with that. People always question that. If anything, it hurts, but we do have more people supporting us than making stupid comments. We kind of just ignore it and focus on the positive. Love is love and a lot of times people might be in the situation they’re in because they put barriers up. Like some people only want to date a model, or an actor, or an athlete. You’re only limiting yourself. Open up to what’s out there because God made us all.

Honestly I never thought twice about her dating a white guy…I was more concerned that he worked for Fox News to tell you the truth. In any case, it bugged me that I could be openly on the bandwagon for GLBT but still gave black guys with blonde girlfriends major side-eye.  Do I mind interracial dating?!? Of course I can never really say that I do because I am so close to it.  I love my sisters more than anything, and without the “swirl” there would be no them.  Plus having my white side of the family has definitely been interesting, I doubt I would have been exposed to such jarringly different traditions and customs had my mom married a Black guy (gross generalization, yes I know). It’s all shaped me and my family so much I can’t objectively answer that question.

When I look at the picture above of Taylor Kistch (Tim Riggins) and Jessica White all I see is sexiness.  I’m not thinking about race relations, if he cares about weave, if his mama likes black girls, if she hates herself, none of that.  I see HOT.  Could I ever see myself with a white guy? Mmm technically I’ve semi been down that road but as we all know my serious boyfriend tally sits at 1: Deeds.  However, my Senior prom date was white…and before and after prom we dated, just very fun and casually though there were kisses, and other random date-like-things of that nature.  I never really “count” it though.  I guess even then I was skeptical of his intentions…and if his mama liked black girls.

I look at one of my favorite celeb couples, Khloe and Lamar Odom, and I never think about all the negative things either. Maybe because Khloe openly identifies with her Armenian ethnicity, or maybe because when I see them all I can see is love.  Truly.  I love seeing them because it just shows how much two people with big hearts can take care of one another.  Maybe that’s silly or naive, but that’s all I got.

So perhaps I can start to open my eyes to it a bit more. Not just for other people but for myself as well.  Just ingesting the fact that love is love, and beings are beings.  Our skin color is just a part of our story, it doesn’t mean we are incapable of creating new chapters with others.  Every time I think I’ve opened myself up to infinite possibility I find some new area where there’s more work to be done.  So I guess I’ll proclaim it, whoever I’m sent, if he is black, white, or otherwise if it is right, I will not fight it.  Tamera was right, so often we put up these barriers, but ultimately God made us all.  I know, as with everything, that who ever God made for me is just for me.  Who am I to put preconceptions on a blessing?

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3 thoughts on “Black Barbie White Ken

  1. I am of mixed race, and you would think that I would never notice interacial couples. But this isn’t a utopia. I notice. All the time. It doesn’t bother me, nor do I judge, but I notice. The fact of the matter is, we are a sum of not just our experiences, but the culture we live in. And it’s not so easy to dismantle those experiences, even if it’s the right thing to do. I think if you met a great guy, you’d like him, no matter his race. But noticing race doesn’t mean you’re racist or a bad person. I wish more people recognized that.

  2. Good for you! I think the biggest thing is just keeping an open mind. My sister’s been with a white guy for three years now and they’re probably going to get married. I know from talking to her about it that dating outside your race is different for sure–but that’s not automatically a bad thing! He’s really sweet and makes her happy. Interracial dating doesn’t necessarily equal a happy ending, but no relationship is guaranteed to work out. Like you said, why limit your options? Love is hard enough to find as it is.

  3. I’m gonna go out on a limb and sound like a bitter Black woman when I say that I’m probably gonna go outside of my race if I ever decide to date again, because these brothers out here…..LOL

    But seriously, throughout my life I’ve been called “White” for various reasons. The way I talk, music I listen to, etc., so I’m like, OK I got something for ya’ll…maybe a White guy will appreciate me more? I dunno.

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