Too much for a name

What a weekend! And its still Sunday, and Sunday morning so technically it is not yet over.  I went out Friday night for an amazing happy hour (in which seven people ordered seven pizzas, then headed down the rabbit hole ((literally)) to an Alice in Wonderland themed wine bar, then got slushie daquaris, then ended the evening with quiet reflective conversation) but I’m not going to talk about that.  Ha. Yesterday…I guess its high time for me to give some people some aliases…alright so my roommate shall be Albi–short for la luz bailando because that’s just her, she’s a busy ball of radiance, let’s see my walking and good-time adventure friend shall be Fenway, and my other friend that I’ve already mentioned once shall be Gaia, also befitting.  Alright so now that that’s squared away lets get on with it.

Well first of all, it was a long seemingly never-ended (in a good way) night the night before.  I didn’t make it home from the evening officially until around 11 Saturday morning, at which time I spent some QT on pillow mountain.  When I finally woke up I saw a text from Gaia suggesting a game night at her home which is a bit outside of the city.  I was excited for three reasons:

  1. it was Gaia, and I’d been looking forward to spending time with her because she’s such an interesting person and I just have all the good feelings about her.  I liked her immediately and as always I suck at patience so I’m ready for us to be friends already.
  2. it was a new adventure.  One thing about being in a major city is public transportation.  Once I get over the walking (I’ll get to that) and get on with it, I love that I can get where I need to go relatively inexpensively and efficiently.  Plus I found a blog that maps out how to navigate anywhere you need to go via public transportation, this for which I am extremely grateful. Plus Fenway and Albi were coming with.  Fenway and I have had far too many adventures for it only be three weeks into knowing each other, but perhaps that’s just a sign of good (and interesting) things to come?
  3. it was a home.  Sometimes you just miss being in a home.  Ironic because The Cactus Rancher, played Michael Bouble’s “Home” like all morning long, coincidence?
So after a brief yet productive stint at the Macy’s one day sale, Fenway and I set off for Gaia’s place.  We all met up, hit up Trader Joe’s then picked up Albi and headed back to the house to cook dinner and play games.  We played Taboo which normally I am pretty killer at, tonight however not so much.  We laughed because we couldn’t figure out whether purple or green was the “easy” side and Albi and I lost but we all enjoyed it none the less.  Somehow movies were suggested, snacks were passed out, and then four women curled up on the couch for the classic movie Now & Then.  I’d forgotten how much I liked that movie until I saw it again.  Of course we talked throughout it about different things but I believe the kick-off question had to do with visiting psychics.  Which is something I haven’t done and now want to do!  Fenway had, and she shared her experience and then we delved on the spirit world, energy, tarot, and eventually I shared my story.  It is becoming increasingly less uncomfortable to tell because I already *know* before I say a word how it is going to be received.  I’d shared it with Albi before, almost immediately…I learned from a friend of mine who has bipolar disorder that its a good idea to be upfront with people you share a living space with.  It was important for me to have her know I am not being rude or isolating if I close my door, after a long day of interaction often I just need to recharge and reset.  She’s been amazingly chill about it all though.  I knew Gaia would be fine with it as well, I knew that at least to some degree she was familiar with the story.  There’s still more there, its unfolding.
So we chatted until it was time to depart and then Fenway, Albi and I all took the trolley back to our respective homes.  There’s a bit of a walk (uphill) from Albi and my’s trolley stop and our actual apartment, I was not looking forward to said walk one bit and was secretly hoping the bus was still running though I knew it was not.  Begrudgingly, at least internally, we set off for our walk.  I had to go to the bathroom, so that didn’t help either.
Side bar, Albi runs nearly every night.  I expressed to her my desire to be a runner and she offered to run with me anytime promising that she was no speed demon and that we could go at an easy pace.  That to me the non-runner is still pretty intimidating.  I have not yet taken her up on her offer mainly because I need new shoes, I got some pretty awful blisters recently that I am not trying to aggravate again, but then there’s still the apprehension of being seen.  As what? As out of shape well no…the perfect word is “incapable”.  A lesson I’m working on learning is that trying is not losing, so even if I run super slow I am still running and it is not a failure.
This hill felt like it was just not going to end.  I know the terrain of campus and I knew there was no way around it, I would have to push through, and up this damned hill.  Albi being the light that she is just kept feeding me words of encouragement which I am very grateful for, and I expressed that to her when we reached the top.  We stopped at the reflecting pool…which in the stillness of night is even more beautiful.  We stopped there initially because the building was open and I the bathroom was calling.  Then we walked and talked around the pool and small area that surrounds it.  You have a clear view of the bay and the city from up here.  As I felt the the burn in my legs and the ache in my feet I said my affirmation “Thank you for my health.”  I said it because I can walk and I can make it uphill and I am capable.  Nine months and fifty pounds ago that may have been a bigger challenge.  I have to remember to be grateful for the place that I am in, and Albi helped me do that.  It was a good feeling to get there and be there. As it was already midnight and we were together, and public safety was patroling campus, we figured making a few stops was fine so we also detoured to the Founder’s Chapel.  It’s breath-takingly gorgeous and the only light that shone was on that of the altar.  Because it was night and because it was so late, it was perfectly quiet, pristine, and just the right amount of overwhelming.  I knew if I stayed I would cry.  As we walked out I felt my eyes watering so I said another affirmation “Thank you for my abundance.”  I am not sure that I will ever get used to being at such a beautiful campus which is a good thing.  So many places here call to you at different times and so many things just beg you to open.  Aside from the obviously religious ties, god is all over this place. Maybe he was all over my last campus and my eyes were not open to seeing.
Sidebar #2, I find it funny that I refer to God in the masculine and the universe in the feminine yet I believe they are one in the same.  Perhaps each thing is a manifest of what your spirit needs at that time.  Do you need the masculine protection and safety or the feminine nurture and care?  Our own inner god may, despite religiosity, call upon the divine by the name for which it requires.  As I’m contemplating the likelihood of this I thought “of course it does.”  Why am I still so amazed at the self-sufficiency of the world?
It was, in not-so-short, a wonderful night.  Albi and I made it home and continued our talk until we got sleepy.  Where then of course we went to bed and emailed each other LOL…but I just am so grateful that despite my own skepticism and my own initial resistance the universe made clear my path to be here with the people I am surrounded with.  It is no accident, because those are just nonexistent.  It is quite purposeful and intentional that I have an Albi, Fenway, and Gaia in my life now…and even a Cactus Rancher (CR for short).  Though their bigger purposes have not been revealed to me yet, I know through these friendships I will be made better and the same will be said of them for myself.  I’m precociously grateful.

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