What are we doing?

I am counting down the hours here at work and I ran across the following quote on my timeline:

God heals and the doctor takes the fee.~Benjamin Franklin

First, let me say that sometimes I am in awe of how my mind works. In what must have been 2 minutes I took this quote and had 7 separate thoughts all stemming from it spanning the topics of love, loss, life, and vocation. It almost always happens that way, sharp and biting like a brain freeze but without the pain that is how my words come. Then I know I have to write. Sometimes I take a few hours to marinate on it and other times I must write immediately.  This is one of those times beckoning immediacy.

My thoughts after reading this quote were (in this order): “The doctor and insurance (superficial life)” “God truly does everything, why do we even bother with ‘healing’? (contemplative purpose)” “But wait, God gives us talents as an extension of him, it is never us it is always him. (definitive fact)” “Maybe the only reason he doesn’t just do it ‘himself’ is to awaken the supernatural in all of us…if I see my neighbor can move mountains I may believe I can as well. (definitive purpose)” “What about those who doubt the power or existence? (mortal curiosity)” “We all know. You can no more ignore something greater than you can your own reflection. (assertion of faith).” “Certainly then we have ‘doctors’ to wake us up.  Not to heal, but to show us that healing is possible (purpose).”

As this relates to me, I want to be a doctor of philosophy….in leadership.  What does that mean? What am I doing? I want (clearly this is ego speaking…ugh I hate when linguistics betray me and give me far more insight than I want)…ok I’ll finish the statement. I want to ‘wake people (read: minorities, or really anyone who believes they cannot achieve) up and let them know that they can be great and not only can they be but they should be, the future depends on their greatness.  Now…let me correct that I am being called to help. To lead. To inspire.  I am being beckoned (by god or the universe, the world, spirits, who or whatever you consider the guiding force behind our life to be) towards greatness but not to enjoy it, not as a reward for anything I have done, but as a light.  Absolutely no coincidence I looked at the words of the Torchbearer’s creed everyday for four years.  Trust me, I would be so much happier working and making money to get out of debt. But…that’s not what I’m supposed to be doing. I am supposed to be right where I am doing what I am doing.  Sharing all these thoughts, working my way through school and researching thought and philosophy, guided solely by the inner knowing.  I will not die with student loan debt. I am going to teach, I am going to write, I am going to travel and speak.  I am going to vacation and fill my home with photographs from around the globe.  I am going to have a family and they are going to come with me.  I know it so why can’t I say it out loud?  My words are just the way I know how to communicate his grace.

So…as I will be a doctor, pray I always remember who earned the fee. Who did the healing.

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