I was fussy with Ken earlier. I was telling her how I did not want to tell P2AD every single thing that I thought or felt because what use would it be? Meanwhile the words: be present, tell the truth, let go of the consequences of telling the truth, are on repeat in my head. So I did what any normal person with the day off who doesn’t want to be bothered with her thoughts nor her external voices of reason would do…I took a nap.
I was having a dream where I was sitting in a classroom when at the end of class someone started playing the piano. I was trying to sing along but I literally had no voice. I couldn’t sing. I walked through classroom after classroom trying to sing along but nothing came out and as I gave up and gathered up my things I realized I had a jacket with a pocket full of money. Folded twenty after twenty just stacks of bills. What of riches with no voice?! And what of any of it with no love…
I woke up and told Ken to stay out of my subconscious.
Then I turned on some Katy Perry and sang “Firework” at the top of my lungs with the best of my vocal ability. Not soon after I saw this little cartoon on pinterest and I felt the two events were somehow connected.
Whether he thinks I am crazy or whatever is no business of mine. Whether someone else is uncomfortable with my words is really no business of mine. I’d do well to quit having to learn this lesson. In my waking hours, or otherwise.