Good Girls

I was just watching a special about Taylor Swift; her rise to stardom and how she got started with her music. I noticed how her passion began early and only grew more feverous as she matured and now she is quite literally living her dream. I thought about Wendy Williams proclaiming Taylor a good girl, saying she’s boring and wholesome just like she would want her daughter to be. I thought about myself and my sisters. How I never have to worry when I put a Taylor Swift cd in our music dropbox because her lyrics are never questionable or risque.  I’m glad that my sister enjoys her, and I think how at that age that just wasn’t me.
I listened to Taylor sing about being 15 and naive, her best friend Abigail having sex with a guy who “loved her then changed his mind.” I guess I was lucky in that aspect. I remember the first time I was propositioned for sex, I was way too young–middle school–and honestly had no concept of what sex even was. I knew…but it never crossed my mind to be an active participant. Still though, I had friends both girls and guys who were having it and often. That was never my thing, but I later learned people thought it was because of some of the people I associated with. Then in high school I asked P2AD about it, I remember being so incredibly nervous only to have him tell me he’d already had sex years prior and after that we never mentioned it again. Freshman year of college brought a few more propositions and as interested as I was, I wasn’t.
Mastin Kipp says sex means “spiritual energy eXchange” and warns to be careful of those we invite into our spirit. I hear that.  I remember wanting E so much and then in the aftermath of a heated argument in which he asked me to really think if that’s what I wanted to do, I left at like 6am feeling rejected and cursed by this stupid good girl image. I was barely 19. I should thank him.
Maybe I am more like my sisters than I think. I mean, I guess its true that I stayed out of trouble, had normal relationships with the opposite sex without any major regrets or mistakes.  I kept my morals and values at the forefront, err mostly. And I have truly had a ball in life. There are people who party more or harder, and they can have that life. There are girls who’ve had more boyfriends or just more male attention in general, but that’s okay I only require the attention of one; the one. So maybe I am a good girl, and a little more like Taylor than I’d care to ever admit. Good thing too, since I have two young women looking up to me. I just hope they know there’s nothing wrong with it. And I hope they know it before I did.


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