That’s the cycle of things, right? You live as a single person, and then you find a mate and there is a death of the single life as it gives way to the birth of you as a cohesive unit. If you procreate with your partner then there is a death of the life you have as a pair and the new life you have with your child, and so on and so forth. Everything evolves in this way; life death life, so why is it that reincarnation seems so foreign? Another day perhaps…
The thing I want to understand is the ebb and flow of this life, the life and death as it pertains to me currently. I believe that immature me who was unsure of herself, unsure of what she wanted and how to obtain it, what she deserved or who she deserved…she has died. And in her place stands a woman who knows who she is and what she wants. Some of the how is still murky but I am okay with that. I realize that knowing everything is not necessarily meant and that in life I must operate with a steady level of faith and trust in life’s process and the way of things. All I need to “know” is that the universe is conspiring on my behalf and relinquish control to a greater source and a higher power.
I have noticed that my morning thoughts and morning meditations bring great clarity to me. Today for example I made “Life. Death. Life” my facebook status and hours later was listening to a presentation by Otto Scharmer where he spoke of those very things. I listened and it was like deja vu–I had lived this moment before receiving this information before. Actually moments before I headed down to the talk I’d told my advisor, “No, I am not upset about Sri Lanka…we have to let it go. Something else is meant.” An hour later Otto is showing us a diagram in which the words “letting go” “letting come” were present. Coincidence? I do not believe in those. Even the fact that this post comes after I had the thought…to make space for the words of Scharmer so that I could write about the two…but the knowledge that the thought this notion of life. death. life. was documented far before the conversation…it was meant. How can you deny things like that?
Perhaps another birth is that of me being sure of the gifts that I have and the power of them all. I just have a very good feeling that keeping quiet about them will not serve me well. Within the last day I have had another allergy flare up. I laid on my sofa moaning about the itch in my throat and ring in my ears when I saw my new book by Louise Hay, “You can heal your life.” I flipped to the back where she list common dis-eases and probable causes for them, and also affirmations to combat them. For allergies it read, clear as day “denying parts of yourself.” That was enough. I mean honestly…how many times will I have to be told to “share my story” before I quit wondering if it is okay to speak? Death to the doubter and long live the believer, the truster, the affirmed, the sure.