This post shall be done in two parts; the first about the palm reading, the second about everything that happened before and after.
Part I: The Reading
Mass Elle and I went to Balboa park yesterday in search of adventure. It was one of those days where the sun is begging you to come play, and you simply have to oblige it. I liken the park to a very clean, very friendly French Quarter. There was food, art, music, street vendors, animals, families, and of course, tourists. As we meandered through the different silos throughout the park, we happened to stumble upon a woman offering palm readings. I waited patiently and Mass Elle sat down on the sidewalk content to let me get a reading but deciding not to get one for herself. When it was my turn before I even sat down the PR said to me, “Oooooh girl (taking my hand) I feel good things from you! Did you just call a man? Are you in love? I blushed, despite myself, and laughed because I had just texted P2AD to tell him what I was about to do. She took my hand and said, touch the deck. I pulled up the deck and it showed The World card. She said OH! You are going to travel the world, honey, you’re wanderlust! Beautiful trips, you are going to see many things! I did not realize until later that The World card is also the card that Teresa Chuang also named as the card related to those born on my birthday. She looked at my hand very briefly and said, I feel love all over you, look at that she looked at something that I clearly did not see that life line! Look at those travel lines! Here is what I want you to do, I want you to pull 9 cards okay? First shuffle the deck, blow onto them, cut the deck, then (she spread them out) pick nine. She counted while I chose the ones that seemed to feel best.
The first three cards were about me, they were:
- Ten of Pentacles–> which she said meant great wealth for me. She told me that this would come from my job, then she corrected herself, No! This comes from a career! A calling, See? Again, I look for something intangible invisible but incredible. This was the highest of the cards, she was excited by this point. We moved on…
- The Eight of Pentacles–> she told me this one told me more about fortune, but more how I got it–by following a dream, following my heart. She told me how she knew I valued love above all things and she said “You love love, but you’re gonna get wealth.” She did not imply that I would have one without the other, though, because the next card was…
- The Lovers–> She told me that my life would be filled with the thing that makes me happiest, companionship. She said I would have rich relationships and have a balance between work and pleasure.
The next three cards, she said, were about my partner, unfortunately I do not remember the first two cards, but she said that he would be good with money, she saw something in investment, banking, or finance. She said that he and I would have good balance and a happy life with adventure. She made mention of a comfortable life, he had his own money, I had wealth but that those things were not important to either of us, love was. His last card I do remember, it was the King of Swords and she noted that he would be a man of power and authority, I guess I must have made a face because she reiterated that we would be equals and compliment one another. I quietly remembered all my mentions of wanting a man who wore a suit to work and read the newspaper–though I suppose I don’t mind if he reads on his ipad rather than the physical paper.
The next three cards I don’t remember who or what they were for or what there were except for one…the Judgement card which she told me showed fire. She told me it was about passion and forgiveness and moving forward. She reminded me of the World card and the Lovers card I’d drawn earlier, and told me not to worry because I had such a good life why should I fear? You just said a mouthful there sister…
I thanked her and tipped her and it stayed on my mind all day…
I told P2AD about the palm reading, to which he was very sarcastic and skeptical and I responded “You & I…we’re very different.” He noted that yes, he was skeptical of psychics, palm readers, people who speak with the dead, etc. It was like throwing open the shutters after a very dark night, this guy doesn’t know me at all.
I had a lot more words, a lot more thoughts on it, but that is really what it boils down to. How far can things go when you feel unseen? When you finally get to the point where you are standing there in front of them in all of your naked glory and they toss you a robe and say, put some clothes on. My SATC-ers will know, the Madonna whore. Its not an unsettling feeling, it actually is one I am at peace with. Yesterday when I woke up I wondered how I was going to tell him I wanted more, the last minute fit of desperation before a St. Barts trip, “You don’t have to tell your mother, or anyone else, just tell me…tell me I’m the one.” And today I don’t even need that much.
It’s like when you are meditating and then something mundane pops into your mind, you acknowledge it and then you go back to your breath. That is what I think I did with this love. I acknowledged it, and now back to my center. Back to following my heart, back to doing what feels right, back to my crazy world where psychics and palm readings, and people who talk to the dead aren’t so crazy. Back to me.