Once upon a time, I had a plan. I was going to go to school, get my Doctorate, meet the man I was going to marry by age 28 and be married by 29 with our first child coming at 31 not soon after my graduation. I wanted to be an adjunct professor (quite literally the whole reason for obtaining this Ph.D).
I still want those things but that whole husband thing is looking murky. My mom told me a few weeks ago that she would be okay with me just having a friend with benefits, you know so long as I had a grandchild for her. Really mom? I told my Person that we might just be old spinster neighbors and if that’s the case we need to pick a city because right now she lives in East Jesus Nowhere and I refuse to ever reside in such a place.
I feel a bit like Alice. Leaving the world I “knew” and all of my sure things behind. Even my career goals are different, bigger now, and not exactly what I thought they would be when I first began my pursuit of higher (higher) education. I am curious (curiouser and curiouser) about what lies ahead but I am truthfully trying to just take in the sights around me. I feel as though lately I have been too caught up in possibilities. I need to just enjoy Wonderland.
Isn’t that what Alice did? She just went with it. She stumbled through Underland until she met her fate and when she did, because she did, she was ready. I want to stay present more than anything. I will.