I have become increasingly more irritated by highly judgmental people, which is sometimes trying because one of my best friends can be super judgmental. I try not to get preachy about tolerance, but sometimes enough is enough.
I was reading on Twitter and people were mad at Beyonce for simply standing next to Kim Kardashian. Of course there was speculation over whether they are new friends or how close they are, but people were remarking that Beyonce has “sacrificed her dignity” by befriending Kim. It was in this moment that I literally said, “Damn, can she LIVE?!” I asked J what it was about KimK that gets people so emotive. It is more than simple dislike. If you have no interest in her then you don’t watch the show, but this is more than that. This honestly reminds me of the extremist homophobes; and makes me wonder what people see in Kim Kardashian that they loathe in themselves?
Is it that she dares to be a sexy woman who willingly and openly flaunts her sexuality?
Is it that she is a successful business woman who has *gasp* used her looks as a tool?
Is it that she dates black men?
Is it that she cares, and bullies like the targets that cry the loudest?
What is it about this woman that people find so visceral?
Admittedly, I was not always the biggest KimK fan, but ever since her letter she wrote about her divorce (and ever appearance where she spoke of it) I have liked her more and more. In her interview she did with Oprah for Next Chapter Oprah asked her if “it all went away tomorrow, would it be will with your soul?” Kim responded, “It would be well with my soul…but I wouldn’t have answered that way a year ago.”
Incidentally I have started to dislike Kourtney more, for the simple phrase, “I would never do that to my family.” I realize that she is speaking from the place of a hurt child and not an empathetic human being, but the judgment loaded in that phrase. How many times do we say that a day? A week? I WOULD NEVER!! What an awful thing to say, because we choose to relieve our pain in other ways we get to become someone’s judge and jury?
I think about the extremes, like the Sandusky situation, he was convicted of like 45 counts of child molestation and the American public is repulsed and disgusted. It was not a good thing, those children now men have to carry that hurt and that violation with them and it is absolutely sad and unfortunate. But I don’t hate Sandusky, I wonder what his story is?
Not that I am perfect. Not that I do not judge. Not that I do not find myself atop the soap box, but I think that being a counselor, being an observer, being an empath, being me…I know that there is always more to the story and we are all going through something and coping in the ways we have learned.
I can honestly say that witnessing addiction first hand, witnessing self-destruction first hand, witnessing abuse first hand that it changes your view of things. It makes everyone more tolerable because you see that they are so much more than this one “bad” part or this one “bad” behavior. What if these so-called bad people never had anyone in their lives who saw their light? Who saw the potential in them? Who saw the good in them?
I spoke with a friend of mine about forgiveness today and I told her that it was not for the other person but for her own peace. I truly believe that. I also understand how hard it is to do. I wonder if when we are irritated by something in someone (our sandpaper) we can look within and see that part of ourselves we are hating, and then forgive it. Forgive the person for not being everything you expected them to be, accepting them for who they are, and forgiving the part of you that was “hooked” (damn you Terri Monroe) by them.
Its bigger than Kim Kardashian. Or LeBron James. Or Kanye West. Or whoever else the public chooses to vilify that day. We are all just people trying to make it in this world with the best way we know how to.