Takeaways from the miseducation

I was talking to MV tonight about life, and the idea of “getting in your own way.” I mean yes, we hear people say that all the time, but its abstract and intangible. What does it really even mean?

Lauryn Hill said it so beautifully, it could all be so simple, but you’d rather make it hard. How many times have you known exactly what it was or who it was that you wanted, yet you hesitated on making the move? We doubt or second guess or pros/cons it, only to find we have made 3 right turns and are right back where we began still with a decision needing to be made. Why is it that we can’t just pursue our hearts desires with reckless abandon?

That sounds dramatic, right?

Ever since my accident I have known my purpose is to help people. I know that the goals I have set for myself may be high for the average guy, but for me are not high enough. I know with absolute certainty that I am going to be someone big. That used to give me such anxiety. What if, I asked MV, I just owned that and walked confidently knowing my destiny with certainty and conviction? No, there is no plan b. There is only what is. And that is plan a; gods will does not require a back-up plan.

What would it feel like to wake up tomorrow and know that my successes for the day have already come? That my travel arrangements to Italy, Greece, Thailand, etc have already been made. That my workout was already done and my weight already lost. What would it feel like to walk through my days knowing no..Knowing that the victory was already mine? Doesn’t that make life a little bit easier to bear? I feel lighter even having imagined it. But isn’t that where it begins? In our dreams and in our imaginations?

After my last break up I asked to never be afraid of letting go. And now, a year later, I throw out the rule book and say I never want to be afraid. Period. Why? What purpose does it serve? Fear and doubt make the things that we want, and we deserve feel so out of reach. They make us forget our power and our worth. What would it be like to always know?

I moved across the country not knowing a soul, into a place I’d never been with not a penny to my name. I think I had 100 dollars. And I survived a year because I was never not going to survive it. I was never not supposed to be here. And because I have absolute conviction in the miracles I’ve lived through, I can have them in those yet to pass. One firm and easy step in the direction of my calling.

Use me, I am yours.


2 thoughts on “Takeaways from the miseducation

  1. I needed this… i think you dont really realize how many people you reach, be it through random convos or your writings. YOUR DREAM OF HELPING OTHERS IS REAL… YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENT OF IT, IS REAL!.. I’m glad I met you :)… ok I’m done being a typical Cancer lol

    1. I don’t think I do realize, which is probably for the best at least for right now. I am happy to help though…but I really don’t think its me. Its just my words awaking something dormant in others. I ask to be used, can’t be afraid when it happens!

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