The single most certain way that I know I am a good person is because of the wonderful people around me. I do not believe that you can attract and maintain such rich and intimate relationships with amazingly brilliant people unless you have a little bit of their pixie dust too.
Currently two of my very best friends are pregnant, BFFK and KSO. K is pregnant with her second and I am hoping it is a boy (she knows why) and KSO is pregnant with her first and really I am so over the moon for both of them I don’t know what to do with myself. When BFFK had her daughter we were younger and I was in college and living such a wild and reckless life that even though I should have been there more, I wasn’t. Granted our physical distance did not help that situation. I have tried to make more of an effort to check on the both of them (and the countless other friends who are preggo) and ask about the pregnancy and the morning (noon and night) sickness, and the names and the birthing plan. Because that is what is important to them and most of all I care! It is important to me because it is what’s going on in my sisters’ lives right now and I am just happy to share in their joy.
I have already written about BFFT’s recent engagement to B which I am so excited about for many reasons…the main one being that I have seriously never seen a man grow in the way that I have seen Ty grow in this relationship. It shows me the other side of the game and what love can really do. More than that though, as they take this journey together I am just happy to be involved in whatever way they want me involved–unless of course that is not at all. We can’t have that because I have already written a speech.
I’m all in my feelings because I have a trip planned to go to Tennessee and B has made this trip feel like such a homecoming. You would think that she was my best friend rather than her fiance…but see that’s the thing, we’re all family. And I know that Ty didn’t pick her thinking, well she fits in the grand scheme of thing, but she does (another lesson) and it just makes me happy to have yet another loving person in my corner.
I’ve learned so much from them all…Tiff and KSO teach me about financial prioritizing, BFFK teaches me how to stay in touch, the importance of family, and to never give up on people you love, LT makes me want to dream and reach for the impossible, J makes me accountable, My Person shows me that looking the part can make you feel better, and believes in the healing power of a good cry, Ty showed me that real true love will only make you better, G reminds me to have fun, Cre tells me not to get caught up in the BS and to cut the people who can’t support you, Tiek shows me how to think outside the box and make a way out of no way…the list goes on and on and on of people I love and things they have taught me and if I continue to be as blessed as I have been many more lessons are sure to come.
Its just the fact that right now, at this time, in this place in this space I am happy. Because the people around me are happy, and that makes me feel good as a person…I guess it goes back to that one day in church (yall know I rarely go to church…) “My friends don’t call me no mo’ since I laid my burdens down.” Meaning that when you have something to truly celebrate people will often disappear and not be happy for you and not celebrate with you, especially when they have their own issues. Well I can say I certainly have my own drama but I can’t even find space for sadness or worry about it because I am so uplifted and encouraged by the joy of my loved ones that it carries me through.
I think of my little nieces or nephews (or both) and I get giddy. I think of standing witness to the love of two wonderfully amazing people and my heart smiles. I think of seeing Ne be a PA, and Kendra fulfilling her baking dreams, and Tiek kicking off Smith Media consulting, and Carms being a Pediatrician, etc. and I smile from a place deep on the inside that is unscathed by worldly concerns. As I reflect and look around me I see them in all their glory and am so grateful to be a part of them. I am thankful for the company I am in, I am grateful for their love support and existence. I am just in awe of the players.