At 28…

When I was in Nashville, a friend of Ne’s turned 28 and we went out for lunch. I told him as a birthday gift I would give him some wisdom about being 28. It was totally in jest, but lately it has occurred to me that there are definitely some things that I am doing differently in this, my 28th year. 

For one, shame is rare.  I feel as though I am in a very honest place. I do some things very well, and I am working to improve others daily…but I am very open about it all. I choose to live my life so openly in large part because I feel better when I do, but also because of my mother. She is seriously the most audacious person I have ever met, and while I do not have as much gall as my mother, I can finally look at her openness as an admirable trait rather than feeling embarrassed by her honesty.

I keep a good circle. I told Ne’s friend that at 28 I am not afraid of losing friends, if they want to go then I let them. And sometimes it is me who wants to go, in those instances I do so with certainty. I trust myself more. And similarly I trust the “grand scheme of things,” and know that things will always work out in the end just the way they were supposed to.

I recognize my strengths and opportunities and am not afraid to be wrong or ignorant. This may be another trait I got from my mother, but she is a question asker. She wants to know how to do what she cannot do. I have become more of this person. I want my credit to improve, so I research how to improve it. I open up my mouth and ask my financial aid counselors about my process, I inquire about everything and educate myself as much as I can. It makes me a resource to others.

I have made peace with just me. My mother, sister, and I were on the phone and my sister is 16, newly dating a guy and he called her too early (aka before noon). My sister being the spitfire that she is said “uh let’s not make this a habit, okay?” As my mom and I laughed at her she asked, “am I doing something wrong?” I told her no and not to change. He obviously likes her for just who she is, and I don’t want my sister to ever be one of those women who needs a man to feel good about herself nor twists herself into a pretzel to please one. I am just now at peace with who I am, my habits my ways my looks my personality, and I am happy in my own company. If I never find a mate, someone to share my life with…of course I would grieve and mourn that, but I would be okay. I am confident in my own resilience. 

I am absolutely in love with life right now. I have the best family, friends, career and I just feel full of joy yet calm. I feel at peace. At 28, I do not hold on to unrest. I love the ease of calm waters, gentle ebb and flow. I am happy, and if growing older means more joy then bring on 29.

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