1. I have said, multiple times within the past week, that I plan to teach post-grad. Each time I say it, it fits a bit better. I think about Maya and Oprah and their utter reverence of teaching; why is it that I was so resistant? Marianne Williamson said, “Sometimes we worry so much about what we’re ‘supposed’ to do that it blinds us to we’re being called to do…” and perhaps that is accurate. Its not about being a practitioner or a professor, it’s “both, and” as Zachary would say. And ironically, he is. 2. I am going to write an article for this magazine. I get the feeling I’m supposed to, so I will. It still makes me nervous to think about, but I’m going to do it. Soon. It has not yet come to me what I should say, but I do believe thoughts surrounding spiritual alchemy will be included. 3. Crystal is saving my life. I am very thankful for her and right now she is absolutely my angel. It’s not just running, it’s learning about myself, it’s breathing, it’s connecting, it is living. So when I say she is saving my life, I mean it. 4. My feelings are coming back. This could be directly related to #3, however, I am feeling things, seeing things, and sensing things more than usual and more strongly than ever. This tells me that I am opening. 5. I thought about where I was this time a year ago, and two years ago…and how settled I feel in comparison. I guess I’m 10 feet tall because I still feel high and tall and yet with my feet on the ground. I’ve grown roots, yet not in any particular place just into myself.
6. I bought a pair of “goal pants” which I’ve never done before. They’re orange crop pants and were only $14 at Ann Taylor, but they mean a lot to me (yes, already). Currently, they barely make it past my knees, but that will not always be the case. I have seen it. 7. I’m making a conscious effort to let people be close to me. 8. How honest is too honest? I struggled to decide whether sharing certain things in my blog were too honest. How in this world of social accessibility it may come back to “haunt” me. I decided to sleep on it and meditate on the root of the honesty–was this about ego or was this about love? What I came up with was that if I always take the time to consider that very simple question, and then act in alignment with love, that my honesty will never work against me. 9. The ways that I am invisible to others is the way they are invisible to themselves. Similarly, if I want to see all of you, I’ve got to first see all of me. We must carry beauty in our hearts… 10. I feel incredibly privileged to be a doctoral student. Not because of the status or the school, but because of the access it provides me to such wonderful people. The people in my life are a blessing.