A little 20-something perspective

Often I feel like…OMG I’m 28 and I need to ____________. Fill in the blank with various material indicators of adulthood, i.e. buy a car, own a home, have a life partner, have children with said partner, etc. The list goes on.  But yesterday when I heard the news that one of my childhood friends (literally we met at 10 years old) had died, suddenly 28 seemed lightyears away from adulthood, 28 is just the beginning.

I tried to wrap my head around what this constant sense of urgency that I and my peers often feel. Keeping up…we’re all playing that game, sometimes unknowingly. So and so just bought a house, I can barely afford rent, what am I doing wrong? So and so got a promotion and is celebrating with dinner at a restaurant I can’t even afford to park at, what am I doing wrong? Its endless. And while I’d like to think I have infinite amount of time to get all these things accomplished, the reality is…this is a Monday morning my friend won’t get.

It made me realize just how okay with myself I need to be. If I never own a home, buy a new car, make 6 figures, take fancy vacations, it does not add or take away from the life I lived and the love I gave. Those things are just things. They are inconsequential and we’re massaged into giving them copious amounts of control over our lives, but that just isn’t the point of it all. I was not put here on this earth to buy Louis bags.

So while my heart is heavy for a family who misses you and friends who cherish you, it is also full of gratitude for Quoneshia, because through her passing I gained perspective. Its not about the stuff, or even the accolades…its just about the hearts, the relationships, the people…the love.

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6 thoughts on “A little 20-something perspective

  1. So sorry to hear about your loss. I’m 34 and I have accomplished a lot for my age but trust me, these feelings of urgency never seem to leave throughtout all of my accomplishments. I constantly feel like I should be doing more. I think it’s somewhat natural to measure yourself against your friends achievements. I’m also learning to be “in the moment” and enjoy where I am in life. Because trust, along with all of those things you mentioned, comes a whole new set of problems and stress. Everything happens on HIS timing..

    • It is such a struggle to Be. Just when we’re content with our lives fear that the joy might soon leave exposes our vulnerability and we’re back to longing for the next moment versus enjoying right now. But you’re right, to everything there is a season.

  2. I needed to read this today and everyday. Everyday I feel like I’m chasing something that’s just outside of my grasp–comparing my life to others my age. But after reading this I am reminded of what’s really important. Thanks for posting and sorry for your loss.

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