I have huge lofty dreams for myself. I do not and have never intended on living a typical life working a typical 9-5 (which is really more like an 8-7) with two weeks vacation and minimal job satisfaction. I never intended on paying student loans until I was sixty seven. I never worried about how I was going to afford to buy a home or finally travel to Europe or Africa or Australia. I long since convinced myself that I would be living an extraordinary life and that how I lived would be my meal ticket. Not like a reality star, but as a person who is open about her struggle, her success, her dreams and her deferments, her manifestations and her intentions. I know that my purpose is to inspire people and the best way I’ve been able to do that is through being vulnerable enough to share my own life.
I’ve wanted to be a writer most of my life. And it is still a dream of mine, though it is not the only one. I’ve awakened to all the vast possibilities that exist in terms of sharing ones creativity and connecting with others. Many artists these days cannot thrive without social media. And many who have mastered the art of social media influence have become stars in their own right (read: The Kardashians).
When I consider how to “stay in my creative lane” while also taking full advantage of the multitude of social media options available to me it becomes overwhelming. Until I really sit and consider what it is that I want. I’ve done this for a few months now and come to the following conclusions:
- I want to be able to empower women to define themselves for themselves.
- I want each woman that I work with to learn what is special about her and how to tap into her talent.
- I want to help people find, cultivate, and flourish themselves through change and transition.
- I believe strongly in the power vision plays in manifestation and want to use expression as a medium for the aforementioned.
It feels so simple in my head. While I still do not consider myself entrepreneurial, I am extremely decisive. I know exactly what I want and if not I typically know what I don’t want. Which is a start.
So, as I’ve decided to take a month off from my dissertation I’ve been contemplating a part-time job. One for financial reasons, I literally do not make enough money to live on my paycheck–another gripe for another day. And the other to get involved in something that will fuel my post-grad professional aspirations. However, what is becoming more and more evident to me is that the job I want isn’t going to be on a job board or posted on LinkedIn. I am going to have to create it.
I seriously considered quitting my part time job, which I enjoy, to dedicate myself fully to my creative processes and the rest of the time to my research. The idea still lingers…the biggest pro is stability. Although there is only so much foundation such an abysmal living wage provides. I also considered getting a full time job just to pay the bills and to begin to save money for next year…but at this point in my research, time is much more valuable a commodity than money. I don’t want anything delaying graduation. So I arrived at a crossroads of sorts.
What I’ve decided for the moment was to keep my job but for everyday I’m not working, where normally I would write, I will dedicate to my website or business to some capacity. I have no idea what I’m getting myself into, but I don’t feel afraid. Excited, yes. Maybe even a bit nervous,but nothing I couldn’t shake off. Can’t shake off. Won’t shake off. All before asking for even advice from others
Why? Because I think you have to be the first person to invest in yourself.