I was reflecting on the past five years of my life. The past five years that I have poured myself fully into pursuing my doctorate. The past five years where I have experienced some of the lowest lows: Break-ups Miscarriage Debt Theft Friendships Ended Loss of Loved Ones Sexual Assault More debt PTSD Anxiety Depression … More Done. Did.
Watching the offering that was Lemonade stirred up all the earth that had settled at the bottom of my sea. Gold flecks caught the attention of the moonlight and whispered to me that maybe it was time to reveal my treasures. Your value, said Osun, is more prismatic than light. Ebony skin smoothed and slick like … More Black Oceans.
They rolled all night one right after the other. Finally I took a sleeping pill. When I awoke to prepare for the workday my eyes were swollen from crying. Bloodshot and sore I told them I would be late. Three hours of sleeplessness and a bucket of tears later, I called out. The jar of … More Words I don’t want to say
I never imagined this day without you. It was true, I hadn’t. And in preparing myself to transition out of and into various stages and roles. I revisit you. If women could recall the sensation of pain, the world would cease to exist. We are built to forgive it. To become strangers to it almost … More Law of J and Konservation
It didn’t occur to me until tonight on the sixth out of seven nights that I’ve woken up buzzing with energy that it might be God. I was used to night terrors or nightmares. They aroused my energy and made it difficult to calm down and fall back to sleep. Tonight was not that, though. … More The Middle of the Night
I have been struggling to write lately. Feeling guilty about blogging without dissertating, I’ve sequestered all words to a place in my mind where they float around bumping into each other all day. Each day I would wake up in full panic knowing I needed to write and being both physically and mentally unable to. … More Lessons from Panic
She told me, “I think the kind of tired you are can’t be fixed with sleep.” It didn’t stop me from trying. I couldn’t shake the nauseating recollection of the events that transpired one year ago, nor the turmoil that would follow in the days since. No tears, no breakdowns but a tiredness that would … More I