I chopped my hair off on September 30th. Like…all of it. I had maybe half an inch of hair and I wish I’d taken the photo with my hand in it so you could see how there was NO WAY to put my hands IN my hair. I wrote about this and I’ve been getting messages from natural hair enthusiasts congratulating me and validating my decision. I chuckle because I’ve been completely chemical/relaxer free for 4 years now..
In any case here we are two months later and I’ve posted virtually NO updates about my hair growth. Well…last month was a bit anticlimactic. I also nearly forgot and the only picture I have is one I snapped at work one random day when trying to get my webcam set up. I’m not smiling and I look mean…but whatever its supposed to be about the hair, right? Anyway, so here I am bare-faced with lipgloss (my usz) and completely confused about what to do with my hair, so what I was doing was washing it at night, brushing it back and tying it down. I was essentially giving myself a fro-y helmet. Awesome. I started going back to natural hair blogging sites to read what other BC-ers did and were doing to not get bored with their looks. I eventually ended up going back to wigs when I got bored because, well…there’s not much that can happen when your hair is an inch or so long.
But then *bells and whistles* IT GREW! I seriously feel like this happened over night. I was sitting on my couch watching TV when I started twirling my hair around my finger mindlessly. It was then that I realized I was twirling my hair around my finger! I twisted my hair up in two strand twists and actually wore the twists out one day! Then the next day decided I hated how I looked with the twists and deleted all ocular evidence. In any case, its growing. My mom remarked that my hair has always grown pretty fast. The thing that excites me, well the three things are:
wash and go (before BC)
1. My hair is growing back straight up 4C hair. This is fine with me–because last time it was such a mixture of curl patterns (3C in back and 4C in crown) and honestly even if its 4c, I’ll take it because it seems to be much more uniform this year than it ever has been before.
2. It is certainly not thin or “whispy”. One of the reasons I hated twists before was because my hair was SO thin and when I did twists they were always scalpy and awful looking. This time, I did twists and I didn’t hate it (until the day after) mostly because it looked full! The thing that I really loved about the twist was the day after twistOUT! It was amazeballs, but my hair was dirty and needed to be washed. That hasn’t changed. My hair still requires washing 2x/week at LEAST or it is not happy.
3. I love that I BC’d after already being natural because I know how much heat-damage sucks so I’m staying away from it.
Me in a lace front
When I want straight hair, I’ll throw a wig on. Furthermore, I know what products work best for me. I know not to spend a ton of money on all the things other people say works for them, etc. I have coconut oil, and some KCKT. I shampoo/condition with Organix coconut milk and that is IT. I do want to get some honey and ACV because my hair loves those when the air is dry, but I am content. It works and since I’ve already done the mid-length thing I’ll know what to do when I get there. I have to say, I love where it is right now though. Short is so easy, but I do miss my big curly fro. I’ll be happy when I get back there…but no rush. No rush.
Tonight I was taking a shower after a day of doing all the things. You know, the getting ready for the week things: laundry, sorting clothes, packing my work bag, getting groceries, etc. I was shampooing and I thought quite literally, “I’m chopping this shit off.” I didn’t even bother to detangle it I just showered as normal and when I got out, I found the scissors and I chopped. I didn’t think about how short I would go. I didn’t think about how it would look, I just didn’t want it anymore.
I sent the picture of a pile of hair on my sink to J. She panicked and as I explained to her that I just needed something new she asked what she’d missed in my life. While its been mostly spelled out here…what I feel today is not anger or hurt or resentment–its joy.
Maya said, when you know better, you do better. Today I am better. I was holding on to so much. Holding on to what-ifs in a lot of areas in my life. A few months ago, NCS asked me ARE YOU FEARLESS ENOUGH TO OPEN UP TO HAPPINESS? And while I wanted to answer yes! I wanted to believe that I was and I did not want to acknowledge that I was contributing to my own misery in any way. But I was, and I was tired of it. I was tired and I felt heavy, and burdened. I had to put it down, let it go, and reset.
When I showed LT she asked if I was going through a crisis. I chuckled to myself and considered the question. Am I? If it is a crisis then its the best kind of crisis. Its one where I feel completely liberated. I was so tired of wanting to do things, considering them, writing about them, mulling over them, fantasizing about them…I was ready to GO after them. I was ready to DO them. So, I did. I am starting over and how fitting (J brought to my attention) that I am doing so at the beginning of the quintessential Autumnal month. Big chop #1–October 1, 2012.
It is just hair–it will grow back. Honestly, I am not worried about it. I love the way I look with less than an inch of hair. I love the way I look, period. I feel good. Wonderful actually. I feel like I could do anything I put my mind to. I mean, and can’t I?
Some of you know last November I chopped my hair (again) and vowed to straighten it minimally and not to cut it for an entire year ( I tend to be very scissor happy). Here’s some documentation:
November 28, 2010 after the big snip!
Aug 28, 2011 just shy of the one year mark and check the growth!
Good hair right? So then yesterday I got fed up with my tangling ends and though I was gun shy about cutting I knew I needed to not hold on to those ends and that it was best for my hair to cut a bit (a bit) so here are those results:
I washed my hair the night before and pulled it back in a ponytail so that it dried semi straight. I woke the next morning and this was the result (I did this to avoid blow drying and thus extra heat). Definite before!
This was after! Bone straight just so I could check the length and see absolutely NO frizzy brittle ends sticking out. Not this is w/ no product (save heat protectant) and my hair was shiny. I was very pleased.
After I curled it a bit. By this time my arms were tired LOL, but I managed to curl some of the layers I cut. I think I did a pretty good job considering I can't see the back of my head!!! I've gotten better with scissors just because of my affinity for using them. #JFZ
You can't see as much of the color from the front (which I'm okay with--I can't believe its still so blonde!). Happy hair, happy Jess.